Shiny Orange Phone Knows All

Dear friendlies,

hello.

I’m not feeling so funny. I’d like to, but I’m not.

However. I will do my best. Because you guys deserve the best.

Aww, how sweet.

Moving on.

So I was in the car with my friend. I’d spent the day out with her and her mom and her grandparents. Because I’m lovely like that.

So there.

And anyway, we were in the car driving back and suddenly she dropped an A-bomb on me. (I only said A-bomb so I could be all Jan-from-The-Office and go, “Really, Jordyn? Really? She dropped an atomic bomb on you?) And the bomb was…

HER PHONE CAN READ TEXT MESSAGES.

And apparently mine can too?

It’s kinda creepy. It’s this monotone voice AND IT KNOWS WHAT LOL STANDS FOR. And the voice pronounces things oddly. Like she pronounces “don’t” as Don-Tee. But only sometimes.

It’s kinda cool, honestly. But also creeps me out. BECAUSE MY SHINY ORANGE PHONE KNOWS EVERYTHING MY FRIENDS AND I TELL EACH OTHER. Is that scary?

Like the voice knows that we use ‘ha ha’ and ‘lol’ waaayyyy too often. And also she says everything very robotic and monotone except for the word sad. The voice seems to like to drag that one out a bit, like this little computerized lady voice is really putting some EMOTION into that one. Maybe she’s thinking of her dead grandparents or her ex or the time she totally ran over that puppy in the Wal-Mart parking lot.

I don’t know. Computerized Text Reading Lady just has some hidden depths I guess.

Explore posts in the same categories: Sketchy: Unclear; Random

Tags: funny, friends, cellphone, the voice, messages, texting

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