#epicfail

Hey so do you guys remember when I told you all about how busy I was with school and studying and tests and what not?

Yeah? You do.

Great.

Okay.

Maybe someone can tell me this: how is it HUMANLY POSSIBLE to study FOURTEEN HOURS for a test and then get…

64%

?

I have officially failed the class.

And in case you were wondering:

exam one = 6-8hrs of studying w/ no study guide = 64%

exam two = 14-15hrs of studying w/ study guide = 64%

The data here is suggesting that there is absolutely no correlation between study time and grade results. Also: the data suggests that I am an idiot.

HAVE A NICE DAY!!!

Too Busy For Sleep… or Blogging

I HAVEN’T BLOGGED IN OVER A WEEK!!

Also: a few days ago I got some hot chocolate at Starbucks and seriously burnt my tongue. It still hurts like a son of a gun.

Contemplate that saying for a moment: “like a son of a gun”. Good. Now you’re confused and my mission is accomplished.

Onto other things.

To give you some insight on why, maybe, I haven’t been blogging so much lately…

This weekend I:

• had a killer toothache,
• went on a Bible study (awweeesome!),
• helped my dad paint my room… sort of,
• had a meeting at work THAT I SHOWED UP TWELVE HOURS EARLY FOR,
• did piles of homework and studying.

Today (Tuesday) I had:

• map homework due in Geography,
• formal workshop for my expanded nonfiction in Writing,
• a test in ESW.

Thurday I have:

• my second Geography exam,
• the expanded nonfiction actually due,
• three projects in ESW due, plus two practice lesson plans.

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to… well, not sleep. Maybe eat dinner. At one in the morning. DON’T JUDGE ME, I’VE BEEN BUSY. TOO BUSY FOR SLEEP!

Crushed!

Today, I’m not here. I’m over at Somewhat Voluble guest blogging about things I like for Blog Crush Sunday.

This is my first guest post I’ve done, so…

Check. It. Out.

Also? Add Voluble to your readers because it is wonderful.

I Could Have Used This

Responding to the prompt on Twenty Something Writers (yes, I’m one of the twenty something writers… in spite of the fact that I’m not yet twenty) to write a letter to my younger self.

So here goes.

Dear Self, circa 2005

Hello! Welcome to California! I know you weren’t expecting to find a note from 2009 in your room, but life is full of surprises. (You get published, the Cardinals make it to the Superbowl, and the economy sucks.)

Anyway. Here are some things you should know:

1. YOU HAVE JUST ENTERED THE TWILIGHT ZONE! No, seriously. You’re going to meet some weird people and have some weird days. Sometimes this sucks and sometimes it’s just hilarious.
2. It’s going to be nearly impossible to make friends here. You’re going to hear this a lot in the coming years but let your future self be the first to tell you (because I finally agree with it): it’s NOT YOU. It’s this place and the weird, weird people. They’ve all known each other forever and you’re DIFFERENT. And did I mention it’s all very very strange?
3. That being said… there are good people and you find a few you really care about. But be careful, because you ARE really sweet and loving and genuine – don’t let anything that happens make you forget that, and realize that sometimes you just have to step back and accept that other people are out of your control.
4. Speaking of Mich, eventually you guys won’t fight so much. You know she always means well (and you always mean well) and even though you don’t always see eye-to-eye on things, she is always there when you need her no matter how crazy you’re acting.
5. Life is going to get really complicated and difficult for a while, but don’t get too wrapped around the axel about it. You make it through – you always do. Don’t forget that, ever.

-Jordyn, circa 2009

PS. Also: you have a boxed set of Get Smart DVDs, so that’s definitely something to look forward to.

I Have A Fascination With Names

I need a writing prompt. I have no idea what to blog about.

Oh. Okay, I’ll talk about how I bought a baby name book yesterday. Coolest baby name book ever, too. See, I love names. I’m somewhat fascinated/obsessed with them and for this reason I love baby name books. (Another reason: my characters always need names.)

But, um, I’m nineteen. And I look quite a bit younger. And this all makes it very awkward buying baby name books. (How many baby names have I bought? I don’t know. I currently have two but I know I’ve bought more before that ended up lost or thrown out.) One time I went to the register with a HUMONGOUS baby name book, one of those ones that’s basically the encyclopedia of baby names? Yeah, I went to the register with that and three YA novels.

That says, I’m old enough to have a baby but not old enough to read grown up books!

And yesterday I went up to the register with a (completely awesome) baby name book, notebook, and book called Stuff You Should Have Learned At School.

That says, I’m dropping out of school to have my baby, so I need this other book to not become an idiot.

So anyway. I go up to the register, the Barnes & Noble lady (who is pretty nice; I’ve talked to her before) rings up my stuff. Then she holds up the naming book and asks, “And is this book for you?”

Okay. Yes. Technically the book is for me. I’m not planning on giving Cool Names for Babies as a gift to anyone (although: note to self, weren’t you supposed to buy a baby gift like A LONG time ago? c’mon. the baby’s like two or three months old by now), but I’m also not pregnant.

So I told her I write and need character names. Which is completely true but come on, that’s a pretty weird answer, right? I mean who goes and buys baby name books for their characters? Am I a complete abnormality? Do any of you other writers ever do this or am I the only one?

And while we’re on the subject of names, despite the fact that I think my parents gave me the absolute perfect name for me – how come I can only find it in the boys’ section of baby name books? Even my middle name can only be found with the boy names. THAT’S NOT FAIR! MY NAME IS NOT SEXIST! IT IS FOR BOYS AND GIRLS!

…right?

Stupid Tests

Apparently I study hours upon hours for nothing.

When did I get so stupid?

76% on my History exam,

64% on my Geography exam.

UM, WHAT? I studied somewhere between 4-6 hours for each of those tests, plus all the notes (I take serious, colossal notes) from before. ARG. How the heck???

*crawls in hole*

PS. Have any of you heard the song One Last Time? It just came on. Saddest song ever. I cried forever after I heard it the first time. Do yourself a favor and DON’T GO LISTEN TO IT.

But if you have heard it, tell me.

Nothing Doing

My best friend just got a job.

One of my closest friends made her colossal COLLEGE DECISION. Hint: she’s leaving the country. 

A girl I went to school with and was good friends with back in Arizona is recently engaged.

And, umm, well… I read a wonderfully haunting book over the weekend. Does that count for anything?

No?

Okay then.

Lessons

Things you learn in school:

• whenever you write something you don’t want others to read THEY WILL READ IT. Out loud. In groups. Prepare yourself for this.
• crushes are cute. They make people get flustered and act stupid. When it’s not you acting flustered and stupid, it’s hilarious and adorable.
• you should have more than two friends in class because when they both miss a day you’ll look like a lost little puppy without anyone to talk to.
• never underestimate people. They can surprise you, shock you, help you, and make you laugh all in the space of five minutes if you let them.

Today was interesting.

Also, we watched a video about poop in my PE Education class! (No. I’m not kidding. It was disgusting.)

Missed is the Only Word

2009 started out kind of, well, weird, for lack of a better word. A bit surreal, a bit startling. A bit unexpected. A bit sad.

And yesterday I spent the day studying, then went to Starbucks to write for an hour or so, then, because I was there anyway, picked up some groceries. I was pushing my cart through the aisles at nine o’clock at night, completely alone, and I started thinking about some of the things I miss… and the things I don’t.

I miss hanging out – silly photo shoots and laughing as we walked. I miss feeling like I was, if not part of a group, at least on the fringes of one. I miss the possibility of excitement, the idea that something might happen. I miss the feeling of being a “normal” teenager who did normal teenage things and had normal teenage friends. I miss feeling like things weren’t over. I miss the two people I always knew I would miss, the ones I really cared about and believed also cared about me.

I miss that so much it hurts sometimes, and I can’t understand why because…

I don’t miss thinking maybe nobody was really paying any attention to who I was (or that if they were they didn’t care). I don’t miss feeling like I would never really be accepted into that group. I don’t miss hearing the word “drama” over and over ad nauseum. I don’t miss the nagging feeling that things were happening without me, that I was left out. I don’t miss being relegated to second place and knowing it wasn’t just in my imagination. 

I don’t miss feeling out of step.

And whatever else 2009 brings – so far it’s been surprising – I know that good will come out of it for me.