Philosophies

Well I think I win the award for blog updating.

/sarcasm

Let’s ignore the fact that I’ve been gone for a month, mmkay? And instead just get caught up in What’s Going On:

1. The semester is over, I have no major.
2. I quit my job, need new one.
3. Hm. It seems there are only two big important things that have happened lately. Which is really fine by me because, um, sometimes big important does not equal big good important.

So when I was a wee little lass of thirteen I started this notebook in which I would put my PHILOSOPHICAL RAMBLINGS. (And as an aside, wow, I grossly overused the exclamation marks. It’s embarrassing really.)

But some of the things I thought and wrote were… worth thinking. And writing. Here are a few of them:

From age 13…

[about the book CON-FIDENCE by Todd Strasser] It was a great book because it was about how everyone is pretending and no one is what they seem.

..maybe if people don’t talk about you, they don’t know you exist, and then, maybe you don’t exist. [It's very "if a tree falls in the forest and nobody's around to hear it, does it make a sound?" isn't it?]

and aside, to my younger self, ENOUGH WITH THE EXCLAMATION POINTS ALREADY. I GET IT.

…he left the class with a frown on his face, so now I’m wondering how important being the best is and should be to me.

…sometimes out outside image can be good, but inside we feel kinda bad, like we’re not living up to our own expectations of ourselves. … Is our image just an image, or a reflection of what’s inside us? Does a good image make us a good person, or a bad image make us a bad person? 

You may notice I pose more questions here than I answer.

How do I know if I’m grown up?

From age 14…

How do we know how far to go when it comes to keeping a friend? If you have to put on a mask and become a different person, is that friend really worth having?

From age 15…

Why do we invest so much of ourselves into another person just to see it dissolve. Or explode. Or whatever. …even if it’s one-sided, why do we do that to ourselves? … we risk ourselves because somewhere in our heart we always believe that [someone] is waiting – somewhere, for us.

From age 18…

My theory of family is that what makes us family are the stories that connect us. Familial legends passed down and retold. The stories are woven between the members, tying them together as family no matter the distance – physical or otherwise – between them. Without the stories we are just strangers passing through.

I think big thoughts.