Different Life

I was eleven the first time it happened, the first time I felt like I wanted to run out of my life and into another one. I was sitting in a room in a childrens’ hospital in Phoenix, a room with Dr. Suess characters painted on the walls. I was there and my parents were [...]

Solitary Island

My granma, amazing lady that she is, sent me the graduation announcement that was in the paper for the class of 2008. The one with everyone’s photos. She sent it in a manilla envelope, an envelope I had been looking forward to getting.
A few days ago I threw it away, unopened.
I don’t need to look [...]

Dust

We are billions of bits of dust, scattered about. 
You bump into me,
and I bump into you,
and we come together, we fall apart.
We leave trails behind us of where our hearts have been.
******
I think the dust metaphor needs work. And I know it’s probably a really cruddy poem, as pretty much all of mine are.

Sure of This

I’m talking to my friend today. We’re walking through the Barnes and Noble, drinking our iced teas and escaping from the heat and talking. She mentions something about people who are sure of themselves, who know what they want out of life, who know where they’re headed.
Like me.
And it makes me think.
I have an answer [...]

The Roller Coaster Analogy

It’s like this:
(Well, it’s kind of like this. I can’t really come up with the best analogy.)
It’s like you’re at an amusement park and your friend says, “Hey, let’s go on the roller coaster!” And you really really really don’t want to because you hate roller coasters, but you go anyways.
So you’re trapped there, in [...]

Life Choices

I’m at a strange time in my life. A time when other girls around me who are my age are getting married or having boyfriends or being kindasorta engaged. A time when everyone is pairing off. When childhood is being left behind. And I’m not sure what to think of it.
I guess I might have [...]

Falling Apart

I am aware of things, like the way my heart beats in my chest and the way my breathing is, that most people aren’t. I’m aware of head rushes when I stand up, of my heart beating oddly when I panic. I’m aware of being tired. I’m aware of being unnoticeably different.
I’m aware that this [...]

My Dandelion Wish

There’s a phrase, a mantra of sorts, that continually runs through my mind. Sometimes it’s like I believe that if I think it hard enough, they’ll hear it, they’ll get the message without me having to actually tell them.
Please be okay.
Not that telling them would be the worst thing. It’s just that we don’t talk [...]

Staying the Same While I Grow

I was thinking earlier today about my past. About the people it’s littered with and the events I can line up so neatly in my mind, like a timeline. I was thinking about how these last three years, since the move, hold a lot of me but really they are so small compared to everything [...]

And Time Passes

I have this theory, it’s been building for quite some time and now here it is, are you ready?
My theory is that things continue to matter way past the date that they “should.” We don’t get over things, be it a move or a breakup or any other anything in life that throws us for [...]